What suggestions do you find most helpful?
Which two will you likely use?
How will your story change as a result of this exercise?
Identify the most creative and engaging ideas and suggestions that you offered your partner in return.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
PAIR SHARE - YOUR SHORT STORY
YOUR PARTNER OFFERED YOU SOME THOUGHTFUL SUGGESTIONS.
What suggestions do you find most helpful?
Which two will you likely use?
How will your story change as a result of this exercise?
Identify the most creative and engaging ideas and suggestions that you offered your partner in return.
What other questions do you have as we begin the writing process?
What suggestions do you find most helpful?
Which two will you likely use?
How will your story change as a result of this exercise?
Identify the most creative and engaging ideas and suggestions that you offered your partner in return.
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I found the suggestion of writing about what my character sees as she goes down the slide most helpful. The two I will most likely use is the previous idea and making her have no fear of anything and have formally be a stunt person, to make the situation more ironic. My story will change because it will be more ironic and there will be more detail of what's going on around the characters. The most creative idea I offered to my partner is to have the woman already by rich, and waste all of her money on the lottery when she didn't need it. The only question I have is if i should use dialouge in my story or if it would be better without it.
ReplyDeleteDialogue usually enriches a story. Use it if it adds humor, tension, irony, critical information,etc.
DeleteThe suggestions I found most helpful were to make the character rich and waste all of her money on lottery tickets trying to be richer. The character is very greedy and does not appreciate how fortunate she is. The other suggestion I found very helpful was including information about her family or who she lives with. The girl does not live with anybody because she thinks the money is the most important thing in life and that is all she cares about. This exercise was very useful in the ideas of my story because it gave me ideas to write about that I did not think of on my own. I offered my partner the idea of showing the audience what one of the characters sees as she goes down the slide to her death. I do not think I have any questions as we begin the writing process.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like an ironic story!
DeleteThe suggestions I found most helpful was to add physical trait to describe the robot, and how the year had an affect on humans and to say how the robot are generally used for everything not just as butlers. The two I'll most likely use are to put physical trait about the robot and that the robots are used for more than just butlers. After this exercise I'm going to put more traits about all the characters and say how the year affects the way people act. The most creative suggestion my partner said to out was how the year has an affect on the human characters. I have no question that I have to ask as we begin the writing process.
ReplyDeleteYou have a complicated idea. Be sure to keep your narrative clear and simple.
DeleteI found when I was writing it was a complicated idea. It was too hard to write and incorporate the irony into the story. I desided to make a more clear and simple version of the story, like you suggested so it doesn't get confusing.
DeleteLauren Garcia
The suggestion that I found most helpful was to incorporate dramatic irony in my story. I will probably use that suggestion and the advice that was given on how to add more details to the setting. This exercise was useful because it gave me some ideas that I wouldn't have thought of on my own. Some ideas that I offered to my partner was to describe the physical traits of her charaters and to explain how the year in which the story takes place has an effect on the characters in the story. As I begin the writing process, the only question that I have is if it's a good idea or not to put in dramatic irony. This is because I'm not sure if it's okay to tell the reader what is going to happen before it happens in my story.
ReplyDeleteYou use dramatic irony to increase tension and expectations in the reader. Try it! If you don't think it works, you can always revise.
DeleteI found my partner suggesting for me to develop my character more to be helpful. She also suggested for me to make the setting a bigger part of the story. I will most likely use both of these suggestions. Her suggestions will change my story because it will help the reader to understand my characters life more. When I take my partners suggestions, the story will be more descriptive and hopefully more interesting to the reader.
ReplyDeleteI suggested that my partner also develop her characters more, but more specifically I suggested that her main character have a Multiple Personality Disorder instead of Schizophrenia. I think this will make her story more believable.
I don’t really have any other questions about the writing process. I’ve written stories before in past school years and I’m sure that I won’t have many problems when completing this task.
Can't wait to see it.
DeleteJon-Luc Jarboe
ReplyDeleteThe suggestions I got from my partner may help me to expand upon my story. There are a few specific examples of suggestions I will definetly do. An example of one is the the character trait for the mother. My partner said the mother should not like giving things to her son and I agree because then it makes it seem that the son won't be able to take care of the plant. Another example of a suggestion is the setting suggestion that Texas is an unsuitable place for a plant. This suggestion will help me because it will give the the son, Tommy, more of a reason to over water the plant. In conclusion while a few suggestions did not help me at all, a few may be useful for expanding my story.
Right. Suggestions are not mandates. But sharing ideas and drafts of your writing with other writers is a tried and true method of improving your final product.
DeleteMatthew Albanese
ReplyDeleteThe suggestions that I find the most helpful for my story are that Nick is a guy with a short temper, and his work building is a grey, dull place. Also, the world everyone lives in has become a desolate place due to pollution. I will likely use the fact that his work building is a very grey, dull place, and that Nick has a short temper. Nick will be complaining about being late for work, and Fred will be frantically trying to rush to get the party together. Although, Nick will be late. I offered my partner the suggestion that the character named Tommy likes to kill plants, because he smothers a plant so much it dies. Also, the fact that his science teacher always gives F's, no matter what. One question I still have about the writing process is: Will we have a good amount of time to complete our story? Also, what will this story count as for a grade?
You will have a lot of time to work on your story. I want you to be open to the revision process: getting a good first draft, then going through another revision or two: one to add certain elements that are missing, and the other to remove unnecessary elements. Your final version will count as a test grade. These assignments, particularly with drafting and peer editing, will count as homework grades.
DeleteTwo suggestions I am likely to consider are to describe why Joe lets Mary cut him in line and how Joe gets arrested. My story will change because it will be more descriptive and you wont be wondering why something happened in my story. I told my parter that he should be more descriptive in his story and make his characters different in some ways. I do not have any questions.
ReplyDeleteI am assuming that Joe, before his crime, is a gentleman most of the time?
DeleteI found the the suggestion to be more discriptive about the characters and the settng to be very helpful, and I will definitly use it. this wont't really change my story but make it more interesting. The most creative suggestion i gave my partner was to go more into details about the setting.
ReplyDeleteSuggestions that I find most helpfuls are the suggestions that directly reference something that I wrote. Those help me to revise my work the most. A suggestion that I will most likely use in my story is to specify whether the twins in my story are identical or not. One last suggestion that I will use is to majke my story less confusing. It is a little confusing so I need to fix that. Two suggestionsb that I gave my partner were to describe his characters more and to make the story more detailed. I do not have any uestions as we begin the writing process.
ReplyDeleteTaking the 'confusion' out of your narrative is critical to success!
DeleteThe suggestion my partner gave me that I found more helpful was to change the ending into having more irony. Out of all of the suggestions, I will most likely use the ending change with more irony and say what season it is. My story will change mainly in the ending because it will have an extra twist in irony and because of that, one of my characters will have a different attitude than before. A creative engaging idea and suggestion I gave my partner was to point out that there is barely anyone at the campsite they are visiting so if something were to go wrong, they only have each other for help. I have no questions regarding the beginning of this writing process.
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you are adding an "extra" ironic twist. That's not easy!
DeleteThe suggestions that I found most helpful were to describe the woods and to describe the grandma's house more. I think this would make the story more interesting. I will likely describe the woods in my short story to give a better picture of the setting. My story will improve from this exercise because now it will be more elaborated. When I edited my partner's organizer I suggested that she should write about an obsession or habbit that her character has that might make the character more unique. I don't really have any questions about the writing process and I think I am ready to start writing.
ReplyDeleteGrandma? The woods? Hmmm. Sounds familiar. :)
DeleteIt does :) but the grandma doesn't get eaten by a wolf in my story!
DeleteMy partner suggested I develop and define my characters more. She also suggested I give my character Multiple Personality Disorder instead of Schizophrenia. I'm most likely going to take her suggestions because the reader's understanding of the story will improve if I do so. When I take the suggestion, my story will be more interesting to read and will be more believable.
ReplyDeleteI suggested to my partner that she develop her character more. Having a well developed character will add a lot to her story.
I don't have any questions about this writing process. I've written many times before so I don't think I will have any issue with this project.
Well developed characters can propel a story. I look forward to reading it.
DeleteThe most helpful suggestion that I got from my partner is to make there not be many people in the campsite that my two main characters are in so it makes the situation even more dangerous when the two characters, Nancy and Phillip, flip over the kayak. My partner also suggested to add the year the story was taking place. I will use both of these suggestions because it as I said in the case of making the people almost entirely alone, it makes their fall into the water more dangerous as well as the fact that an almost empty campsite allows for Nancy and Phillip who are romantically involved get more privacy and for the dog to seem more intrusive. Moreover, by adding a year it could affect the amount of technology available to the people in a remote campsite when they have to make a call for help. I think the most helpful and engaging idea I had for my partner was a change to the ending of her story so that it would be more ironic. In her story she had the boy ask out the girl in the end and I suggested to have the boy seem like he was not interested so it would be even more ironic when he asked the girl to be his girlfriend. I do not really have any other questions as of now while starting the writing process.
ReplyDeleteSmall details, like the year the action takes place, can be very important in making a story work.
DeleteI liked the suggestion of Hollywood having fake love in it. This can be very true, because of the movies, and celebrities. With tabloid magazines, you never know who really loves each other. I will use that suggestion, and the one to say that she marries the one that she really loves. I will have more connections between the setting and characters because of this exercise. I told my partner that she should change her story a little bit because there were not many connections, and it could have been much stronger. I also helped her think of a connection between Greenland and the theme. As we begin the writing process, I have been wondering about how to really write a short story, but I am sure I will figure it out.
ReplyDeleteMollie Westrick
Fake Hollywood love. Brilliant. Settings can play a major role in your story.
DeleteShannon camara
ReplyDeleteThe suggestions about the setting were helpful because it adds a bit more irony to the story.
I will probably use the suggestions about the setting and the businesses because the story isn’t as ironic as it possibly should be and this would help to make it more.
My story will change because the business will be a Chinese off shore drilling company so the project at hand will have to change.
I said that the setting should be changed to somewhere else where art isn’t as important to the society, since my partner’s story is mostly revolved around art. This would make it the opposite of what would usually happen, making it more situational irony.
I still don’t think my story is ironic enough, and I’m not quite so sure as to how to change it to be more ironic. Also, how long should the story be?
I expect stories to be no longer than two pages, preferably closer to one. I will help you evaluate the punch in your irony when you return to class today. No worries.
DeleteMollie was nice enough to suggest to re-write the story because honestly, i hadn't put much effort into it. she also suggested to figure out the theme first because its easier to form the story from there. My story will be totally different because of this exercise. I suggested her to make her story more interesting. i dont have any questions. madison hayes
ReplyDeleteI have question: will your story be as good as it can be? Give it your full attention. I think you'll be pleased.
DeleteMyer Hussain
ReplyDeleteI like how she said that the setting can be m ore ironic and that I needed more dramatic irony. I will use these two changes. My story will greatly improve and it will be more interesting. I also told her to use a company and to add more irony. That is all.
I'm not sure what your stories are about, but I am looking forward to seeing them.
ReplyDeleteKaelyn Zak
ReplyDeleteMy pair stated that the setting should be more established. With this, I am able to think of many creative ways on how to make the town my characters live in a little (or maybe a lot) ironic. The setting effects the whole story and how it is set up. Thanks to my partner, my creativity with the setting has exploded into massive ideas.
Any questions? Then, go for it!
DeleteMy partner suggested that I go more in depth with my characters and add more irony. I like these ideas, and I will try to incorperate them into my story. Due to this, I think my story will be more detailed and more ironic. I told my partner to explain his setting more, as it was a bit vague. I would like to know if the story can be a little humourous like with characters or setting.
ReplyDeleteHumor is always welcome, especially in ironic, O.Henry style pieces. I'm looking forward to reading it.
DeleteThe suggestion that I found most helpful was when he explained how I could change the setting into something better. I'll probably explain what the geography is like better, and the time that this situation takes place. My story will change because my characters will grow a little more, and the setting of the scene will be more elaborate. I offered more ways to make his characters more interesting to my partner in return. The only question I have left in my story is how exactly am I going to set the scene.
ReplyDelete~Joshua Tyler
Use as much description as possible. Think of Connie's description in the first few lines of "Where are you going..."
DeleteI liked how my partner suggested an idea that made my short story even more ironic. She also gave me ideas on improving the picture of the story, like including a specific place for the setting, and the time of the year. I feel that my story will improve a lot, because it now has more important details that will engage a reader to continue to read my story. I also helped my partner give a better picture of what the setting would be like, and what the characters could be like. My auestion is, how long does the story have to be, and when is it due?
ReplyDeleteAs you know, the first draft is due on Monday, December 17. We will conduct at least one more peer edit. The final version will be done by Friday. You have received some great advice thus far!
DeleteThe ways that I thought were really helpful to me is to have more detail so that people can really feel like they are in the story with the characters. Adding more events can also help because when reading the story it will make more sence becasue there will be more plot. The irony might help becuase it is dramatic, so somthing the total oppistie will happen witch also makes my story funny.
ReplyDeleteYou received very good advice, Kyle. Keep writing!
DeleteI found many of my partner's, Ben Chiacchia, suggestions extremely helpful. The most valuable suggestion was to change that the gun was jammed and could not shoot, instead of just running out of ammunition.
ReplyDeleteHe also gave helpful tips about adding another part of irony to the ending. Once the fog goes away and the military finds him, they put him into an insane asylum for thinking that he is crazy because of him yelling constanty to kill him.
As a result of this excerise, one small part of the story will change and more irony will be added to the ending.
In return, I gave my partner several suggestions about his characters. The only question I am left with is how long our story should be and if there is a required amount of irony in our story?
I was hoping you could limit yourself to one page. Then, I relented. One to two pages, single spaced, 12 pt. font.
DeleteMy partner gave me a few good suggestions that will help me fix parts of my story. One that I really felt would help me tremendously would be the suggestion stating how i should make more of an attention grabber. Also how i should make my topic more similar to real life. My story wont significantly change from these suggestions, but they did help very much. The most helpful advice i gave to my partner was to stay on that subject and not to wonder of.
ReplyDeleteRemember, Drew: show us, don't tell us. Your story plays a short film in our imaginations as we read. Let your audience see your character act so that readers can draw their own conclusions. Good luck.
DeleteAlex’s suggestions about my story were very helpful. He gave me good advice about how to add a sense of tension or hostility between my two characters as they begin to fight. He also made an interesting comment about how one of my characters seems naïve due to his incomplete idea of the events that lead up to his death. I think that my advice for my partner were helpful. I offered advice about how he could transform the setting so that the dark mood of his story is reflected by the surrounding areas. The only other questions that I would have for my partner is how could I describe the setting so that the emotions of my characters are enhanced? I don’t want them to feel like dull meaningless figures in my story, but rather characters that start off feeling like strangers in a foreign land, but eventually find their way into our minds, almost as if we knew them personally.
ReplyDeleteYou could describe the setting as a very hateful, violent area for warfare, where the only goal was to kill the other side. Both sides hated each other, just because of their nationality. Then once they see each other, they at first feel hostility, but one puts his guns down once he recognizes the other. They could talk about how they know each other, etc., but at the same time say what they are thinking in their head.
DeleteThanks Alex!
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteGood question Ben! Good response, Alex! The way we see things directly reflects the way we are feeling at any given time. On a good day, the sun may shine, warm our skin, brighten our view. On a bad day, the sun may be glaring, burn our skin and blind us. Even when using a third person point of view, the author of a story can shape our character by allowing us to see his world through his own eyes. Certainly, we learn a lot about him my looking at him through the eyes of other characters, and the narrator as well. Make your choices. You are in charge of telling your reader how to feel about certain people, places and events in your story.
DeleteI find it helpful that my partner only identified one type of irony, and I could use some different examples of irony in the story. These are the two changes that I will use when re-writing the story. My plot in the story will not change, but the story will be a bit more detailed if I use more irony in my story. My partners outline was not very descriptive, so I thought there should have been a better plot with more explanation, which was the main problem with his outline. I do not have any questions about the story writing process.
ReplyDeleteGreat. I look forward to reading your story.
DeleteAfter reviewing my story and the pair share, I decided to change my story entirely since it wasn’t all that ironic and I didn’t have enough, ‘set’ events that would create a story. My partner had suggested for my other story that I should describe the physical traits for each character when I first introduce them. So, I am going take this suggestion and use it in the new story I have created. In with reading my partner’s story, I found that her setting was random so I said that she should include scenes of characters in which the setting was a factor. Also, I said that she should make the irony bigger, or have more irony because the irony she had wasn’t ‘strong’ enough almost. My Question is will we have time to revise this story? Will we have time think it over and change ideas or events? Overall, I am just excited to write!
ReplyDeleteYes, we will have plenty of time for revision. On Monday, you will share your first draft with a partner, or two. The class will discuss expectations as identified in our rubric. You will begin revising again, based on that feedback and three focus areas that I will give you (for instance, I may require that you incorporate figurative language, sensory detail, or other strategy into the text). On Tuesday, you will receive feedback once more and then will be charged with a clean-up... removing any unnecessary words and phrases that add nothing to your story. Doing this will tighten up your text and make your voice stronger. That will be when your story is graded.
DeleteThe suggestion I got from my partner was to make the ending a little more ironic. Now my story is about a man who finds out he has cancer, rejects treatment, maxes out all his credit cards, and sets out to complete his bucket list in his last years of living. After getting in an accedent sky diving, the doctors that a closer look of his Lymphona. They find out that he actually just has a parasite that has been proven to fool biopsys. It is completely curable and the man rejoices. That is until he realizes that he wasted all his money on completing the bucket list and now has no money for the hospital bill. I suggested to my partner to make her story more ironic also. I don't have any questions.
ReplyDeleteWow. What a great plot! Awesome.
DeleteI find the suggestions regarding the characters and their personalities most helpful. I did not include too much information regarding the characters besides their names so I will most likely use some of the advice that Emily gave me. She also mentioned that there did not seem to be too much irony in my story so I do plan to add more. I will change my story to make it better and more ironic. This exercise helped me to see that I was missing some information that would have been good to include. In return, I helped Emily by giving her some traits that she could possibly use to describe her characters. I also suggested that she change her story a little bit to make it as best as possible. As the writing process starts, I do not have any questions.
ReplyDeleteYou have a productive partnership. It is always good to try to come up with better ways even before you start writing. Now that you have a good road map, it will be a bit easier to draft.
DeleteThe suggestions my partner gave me were very helpful to imrove my short story. She helped to better my thought process by advising me to make oneof my characters more "quirky", which was exactly what I was trying for them to be. It helped me realize that an uncommon name wouldn't just cut it, i would have to dig deeper. Along with this, she said to have this charcter have a personality that isn't expected of her. By using this, one of my main character's, Mrs. Snyder, will be more interesting. She will now be more different because she is a high school teacher who hates kids, which is also pretty ironic. Mrs. Snyder is strict, loud, bossy, persistent, and very vain. In return, I also offered helpful information to my partner to help her story. i gave helpful feedback on the way in which her charcters operate. For example, it wasn't very clear on the type of relationships they had with each other, if they were together or not, which I stated. I think this will help her to tell the story clearly. So far, i don't have any questions.
ReplyDeleteWithout good characters,stories can fall short of our expectations. Sounds like your partner helped you alot, and that you returned the favor. I do like your decision to give the character a quirky name to reveal a strangeness. Good strategy. :)
DeleteOne suggestion that I found most helpful was to make the two main characters into a couple on their honeymoon going to the Caribbean. Another suggestion that I found helpful was to make the rain storm into a severe hurricane that my characters will have to face and survive. I will describe in detail what happens during the hurricane and how it affects the couple’s vacation. My story will become much more interesting to read based on these suggestions because there will be much more detail and meaning to the problem.
ReplyDeleteSounds very interesting! Can't wait to see it.
DeleteMy partner gave me a few good suggestions and ideas that will help make my story the best that it can be. They told me that I should include more detail. At some points, I was too vague about what was happening and that if I added details then it would help make the story a little clearer. Also, they suggested that I explain the setting and the surroundings a little bit more.They told me that if my story included more details then it would be very good. As a result of this excercise, my story will most likely become clearer and easier to understand. Sometimes in writing things will make sense in your own head and you will know what you mean but it is important that everyone else knows what you mean too. This is what I need to do in order to change my story for the best. My only question would be whether or not my story is too sad. My partner told me that my story made them want to cry. I don't know if this is a bad thing or not?
ReplyDeleteI'll be happy to look at your notes, but I'm sure your idea is great.
DeleteThe suggestions I found most helpful were the ones about the setting mainly. The setting of this story is in Colorado in the winter, and it got dark early so she might have trouble shoveling snow as it got later. Also, she has a older sister she has to live up to and a father that she wants to prove something to. I will most likely use the suggestion about it getting dark out.
ReplyDeleteThis, along with other aspects of the story, will make it more interesting, and make you feel for the main character more.
I think the best suggestion I gave was that Mel should have the type of personality where she likes to please people, which is why she is let down in the end.
People shovel snow in the dark all of the time.. particularly when they have jobs that bring them home after 5 or 6 (or later) in the evening. Having been there myself, I think such a setting can be either be extremely serene and peaceful, with bright stars overhead, the air clean and crisp... OR it can be bitter cold with wind whipping along the property, making your face and finger tips numb. This unpleasant version of the event generally means that there is not a soul in sight. It can be lonely, scary, uncomfortable.
DeleteI found the suggestion regarding the stetting to be more like a vacation feel very helpful as well as the one regarding the character being a muscisian. I will definetly be incorporating these ideas into the story. My story will change dramatically in the sense of character development, as in instead of my characters being bland, they will have a bit more definition to them. Some suggestions I offered my partner were to incorporate the setting more into the plot-line so that it dynamically affects it. A question I had was whether you would prefer if we included multiple instances of irony or whether you want us to have only one more developed instance of it.
ReplyDeleteOne good ironic ending is all I'm looking for, though you are invited to create more complexity by adding dramatic and/or verbal irony as well as other situational ironic examples. Just be sure to keep your story within the 2-page minimum.
DeleteZaynah Kalaoun
ReplyDeleteMaddie gave me good advice on my climax in my short story. Her suggestion was to make it more dramatic as possible in the major events. I will take Maddie's advice and help make my short story better. My story will change from her advice because I am basing it in the beginning of the Revolutionary War and the events that take place might maybe be on a few battle fields, maybe.
I have a few concerns though, I feel maybe that me writing this short story may not be good enough or maybe not even well written. I also feel as if my story isn't ironic enough for situational irony.
If you are concerned about the story fulfilling the requirements of situational irony, let me take a look at it on Monday.
DeleteThe best advice that my partner gave me was probably to describe the setting of my story in more detail, such as the windiness, how heavy the rain was, along with a more vivid view of the water park and the size of the water slide. Furthermore, my partner encouraged me to describe the characters in greater detail and give some more physical traits to greatly contrast their appearances. These are the two pieces of advice I will most likely use to further improve my story in the ways of detail and description.
ReplyDeleteThe best ideas I gave to my partner were to describe the population at the campsite in which his story takes place. I also went on to talk to him about describing the geography of the campsite as I feel it would help to dramatize the story as a whole. I don't really have any questions to acknowledge after this exercise
Sounds like a very productive session.
DeleteIn my short story, my story didn't change that much, but it changed some. In my story, the two characters, Allison and Ria, are sleeping over Allison's house, and Allison goes "missing" but is really following Ria, pulling a prank on her. She does things to scare her. Later in the story, a lightening storm begins, adding more suspense to the story. I chose to revise my own story and I decided that I wanted to add another mystery person, that they both don't know about. This other person does things that scares both of them, and their locked in the house, and can't get out.
ReplyDeleteOverall, my story has a lot of irony in it, and I can't wait to write it.
I am looking forward to seeing it. Be sure that the irony is obvious to your pair share partner.
DeleteThe suggestions from my partner helped me significantly. I found her suggestion to be more descriptive of my characters very insightful. This will make it easier to set the scene for the conflict. Also her ideas of incorporating more dialog will make the story more interesting. After the pair editing I will work on using more description in my writing. In return I offered my partner ideas on how to make her characters more interesting and different. I also gave her a way to make the irony easier to take note of. As of now I have no questions.
ReplyDelete-Isabella Landry
Dialogue can make a story come alive! I look forward to seeing it.
DeleteJason Hopkins
ReplyDeleteThe person that corrected my outline said that Bob should be very large. This would make the story more funny. This is because some people tend to think if your large, you should be less scared. Another thing I could do, which was sugguested to me, is make the enviorment more believable. Talk about the animals and the temperature outside would make the story a lot better. This is what will make the story better. I can also talk abouth the characters moere.
Good work. I like your story thus far.
DeleteAlthough I did not have a classmate review my short story, there are many things that Mrs. Picozzi did to help me with my short story. One thing that really helped me was the small details in the story, like my characters personality, his looks, and his clothes. Just thinking about it in my head I can just tell that the story is better. Another thing that she helped me with was the irony part of the story. She suggested that the character should have two things go wrong instead of only one. This helped me more than anyone can imagine. Thank you for helping, Mrs. Picozzi.
ReplyDeleteMy pleasure. I think the hairy guy and all of the details are fun to read.
DeleteAllie Fish was here.
ReplyDelete